Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Baby Momma Drama PT.2
Okay ladies so we have discussed how to not be a trifling baby momma but what about dealing with one.....You meet a man and he has a child the child is sweet and cute and you think hey this might work out. But then he lowers the boom and you met the baby momma....What do you do? I say treat this situation with kid glove be as gentle as you can about talking to her. If you meet her and she is nice this means she has moved on and her only concern is who is hanging around her child. But if you meet her and she is rolling her eyes at you or laughing with her friends, prepare yourself for a long ride. The first thing you need to do is utilize your man as much as possible this means don't talk directly to her. If you notice that you keep sending the child over there with shoes or clothes and there not coming back don't call her have the dad call. This is not your role to go back and forth with this woman. Second don't assume just because she doesn't like you that her whole family doesn't either. If the grandparent pick up the child be polite and respectful nine times out of ten they will go back and tell her that you were very nice and they will wonder what the hell is wrong with her. And third and this is a big one Never talk bad about her to her own child this will get back to her and when it does be prepared for a firestorm not just from her but your man also. In most cases whenever there is a court ordered child custody case it usually states that neither party can use any derogatory words or statements in front of the children about the other person. So we are talking about your man losing custody over you wanting to vent. If he is worth anything his kids come first and you can kiss your relationship goodbye. There is always going to be tension if this woman still has feelings for your man. The only thing you can do is be prepared and stay strong. Don't push a relationship on the children just let it flow. Good Luck
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Coming from the other woman's point of view. I agree with this, too a point. Sometime it doesn't matter how you approach the mother she will act a fool, or she'll be nice as hell and turn.
ReplyDeleteThat is exactly what happened with me. See I'm a prodigy of a blended family. My mother and stepmother argued like cat and dogs. My stepmother was in my life since I was 2.
Since I witnessed this throughout my life I said that I would not be like my stepmother and argue with my finace's baby's momma.
In addition to that, why I was 10 years old my mom got back on the dating scene and became involved with a man who had 6 (only one was under the age of 18) children, all by the same woman. He was well off and was a good guy in general. This is where I experienced the other side of the coin.
On Mother's Day, Thanksgiving, Easter, and Christmas my mom and the ex-wife all got together exchange gifts, hugs and a lot of love and that was completely normal.
I hoped to imitate this style of unity in my own family when the time came. But that did not happen.
Coming from the fiance', new woman, stepmother and so many other alias point of view that it is best to just play your role in the back. Unfortunetly, I'm a hands on person and love hard especially with a child. But to keep my soon to family on the right track, I have to fall back and let my man be the man and allow him to fight the battle and I'm in his corner and when the round is over I'll wipe his sweat, give him refreshments and pat him on the back for fighting for his child.