Baby Momma Drama

Woman are alot more sensitive than most men so the fact that your child's father has moved on can be heartbreaking to some. I happen to be a baby momma but I am apart of a new breed of baby mommas. The new breed are the ones who have evolved from the typical drama. Ladies if you find yourself in love with a man and you have a child together and it doesn't work out try not to be bitter. This only makes you look like your still in love with him. Even if you are in love there are different ways to go about it. First off if you find out he has a new girlfriend don't drive around trying to find her so you guys can fight. Sure this might make you feel better for a minute (if you win) but just think all you have done is bring them closer now she is at his house and he is playing doctor on her, or he will see that she is willing to take a ass whooping just to be with him. Second do not use your kids as ponds. If you have a little boy keeping him from his father is only going to hurt him in the long run. Every boy needs a father figure if he has a good father let him spend time with him. And if you have a little girl, having her father in her life is a sure fire way of improving her chances of staying off the pole...Hey this is just my opinion! Woman be apart of the new breed of baby mommas and let go of the bitterness and work with your baby daddy try to find common ground. By nagging him and just trying to make his life hell is another way of showing him that leaving you was a great choice. If your baby daddy broke up with you and you want him back show him how strong you are by not giving him hell every chance you get.



" it takes alot more energy to hate someone than it does to try and get along."

The definition of a real man

My first blog was called the definition of a real woman. So believe it is only right to share my opinion of the true definition of a real man. Now and days strong men do not receive the credit they deserve. This is mostly caused by weak men in the past who have given men the title of cheaters and dogs. We have to stop beating down all men ladies because no 2 men are the same, just as we are not all the same. So what is a real man? well is basically the same #1 answer for whats a real woman and that is STRONG! A real man is strong and focused. A real man will bypass all the bullshit that comes his way. He will hold it down for his family (if he has one) and will take responsibility for all of his actions. He will allow his spouse to also be strong. A real man doesn't care about sharing the spot light with his spouse because he is confident within him self. I get so tired of hearing people bring men down. Because they have been let down by a man during there life. Whether it be there fathers or the husband/boyfriends. There is something about a man that handles his business and keeps it real. If you don't want to be in a committed relationship just man up and tell her you don't want to be committed. Also woman we need to stop thinking men are weak because they show us a little emotion. A mans heart breaks just like ours. I have been in public and seen woman talk there man down. This is one of my biggest pet peeves. Some woman do this thinking this is cute or for bragging rights in front of their girlfriends. In my mind all I'm thinking is she thinks she is tough but she is in a relationship with a pansy. If she was a real woman she would need a real man.....I want to make my man feel good all the time because he deserves it. Ladies give the guys a break sometimes. Men keep doing your thing and hold it down.

Its okay to cry a river, but build a bridge and get over it.

So you have hit the point in your relationship when you don't feel that spark and instead this person that once brought you so much joy is just pissing you off every chance they get....What do you do? I say let it go even if its only for a while. Sometimes in relationships one person might take for granted what they have in there partner. About 3 years ago in my relationship i felt like we had hit a dead end. I would go to work and work hard come home and cook and clean and it just didn't seem like i was being appreciated so instead of nagging him to death I just STOPPED! I didn't lift another finger I didn't cook I didn't clean. The first few days my man was fine with it then he started to notice he was running out of clean clothes and eating out every night was not good on the stomach or easy on the pockets. So he finally told me that he was sorry and that he realized what I did around there. So the strike ended... I had hours of cleaning ahead of me but hey i proved my point. My point was that in relationships there needs to be a level of respect for one another if he would have went on strike i would have been just as ready to apologize just as fast as he did. Then there are those times when you have done everything you have shown this person that you love and respect them your walking on eggshells when things are good to keep them that way and you still cant seem to please this person, This may be time when you have to just let it go! If you are giving this person all of your attention then you are taking away the attention you should be giving yourself. Love is a bitch sometimes it will make you do the most way out crazy things and I believe in being in love but loving yourself comes first at all times. Let love go and if it is at all worth it, it will come back.

"A break up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it"

The many hats of woman..

As we know ladies we grew up watching our grandmothers. She would cook and clean all day! They grandpa would come home and they would spend the rest of the evening together. She was a homemaker and held down the fort while her man was away at work. Then we grew up watching our moms a lot of them had part time jobs and would take care of the home when they weren't at work. Now times are different we play those roles that grandma played and mom played. We are professional woman, Strong and Intelligent, not saying our moms weren't but times have made woman have to switch up fast. in the past three generations we have done a complete 360. So how do you balance the job, the kids, the man and the friends. I say it takes strength and determination. Women put your kids first and the rest will follow. The other order to which you choose to prioritize is solely your choice. I know having the career brings you power and money but when your kids are messed up in the head there is only so much power and money will do to help them. I know having a man can bring you pleasure and having friends can bring you respect but again neither one of these should come before your children. I have been blessed with a beautiful family that i Cherish everyday. I have also been blessed with friends that have good relationships with there children. I say ladies if you see your friends doing there kids wrong say something you can be a friend and voice your opinion about what your beliefs are. She might really need to hear it from a true friend. We wear many hats some hats are made like friendships some hats are found like love some hats are earned like a career but to me the most precious hat you could ever wear is the hat you create yourself like your children.

They smile in your face.....Backstabbers

One of the fans of this blog asked me to touch on the subject of Backstabbing friends I have really only had one friend turn her back on me and all it took was that for me to let my guard go up. This is a very touchy subject because you have the person who has been hurt and the person who is causing the hurt. I don't know about you fellas but woman are cold hearted when it comes to hurting another woman's feelings we will pull out all the stops! Men tend to either not talk to the person ever again or fight. I guess this is where men and woman are so different. For woman if you have been friends with this person for a long time than it is alot harder to just stopping to this person. You guys most likely have the same friends and hang out at the same places. But you have to ask yourself what makes this woman that you have been friends with just flip on you and turn her back? There is alot of answers to this but I know the main one is JEALOUSY...yep the green eyed monster! This is where you need to learn to cut yourself from the drama and move on. If your so called friend is jealous over something positive you have done in your life than you need to cut the negative from your life. when you step up in life and it becomes a positive thing so keeping the negative around you is a oxymoron. Sometimes in life you have to take the bad with the good but not when it comes to this. Anyone that isn't happy for your success needs to keep it pushing. Don't allow yourself to be stressed over this person. Ladies if you find yourself jealous of your friends than that means you need to work on some self improvement. Use this as motivation to strive yourself. Everyone has come across a back stabber in there day but how you choose to deal with it is totally up to you....good luck with dealing with your backstabber but remember people can only put you through what you allow them to out you through...Own your life and move on!



~ A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity. ~
-Robert A. Heinlein

Quality Or Quantity

Tell me fellas why is it that most of you guys believe in quantity and not quality? Ladies you know what i mean. we have males friends that are talking to 3 or 4 girls, you might have had the a chance to meet some of these ladies and all you can think is they are all trash. I think there must be something in a guys head that its better to have a lot of different woman instead of having that one great one. Now tell me if I'm wrong fellas, But I have know a few woman who are the complete package they care for you, treat you like a king, there strong and smart. The Complete Package! But she isn't your only girl why? In my personal opinion I would rather have that one man who treats me right and is faithful than have 4 guys that treat me okay and are going out with other woman. Another thing men do that i don't understand is when that real woman has had a enough and leaves that's when you guys want her the most. Do men always want what they cant have? Is it all about the chase, and once she is yours it gets boring to you? I will never understand because women don't think like this. If we have a man at home and he is a real man then were okay with that. Well let me be fair some of us ladies are content with that. On the flip side of this more and more woman are starting to feel like there man isn't enough. The woman of today are thinking with the mentally of men. That we don't need to chase some man around and that we can be fine being single. But ladies how much of this is really true? Do we sometimes say this to hide the pain that were alone. I have been single and I have been in relationships and trust me both of them have there perks.I find it better to be in a relationship with the right person than be alone. And i find it better to be single if I cant find the right person. I guess it all depends on what floats your boat. I will say to my Fellas when you find that one woman who is the total package treat her right because the good ones always seem to get away and you never find out how good you had it until she is gone.

Let's talk about sex baby...

I haven't met an adult yet that doesn't like sex. But there are times when the other person wants it more than you do. As women do we just give in and do it because we feel like we better give it up before he finds it somewhere else? I say as one half of the relationship you should make every attempt to try and make sure your partner is satisfied. As woman we have a lot of things that sometimes can mess up the mood for us, such as stress. If this is the case with me and my man wants it I try to make sure that I'm not just thinking for me but as a part of a relationship where sometimes you have to give. majority of the time if I'm not in the mood i just relax and focus on what is taking place and I get in the mood. Allow your man to take you Ecstasy. Good sex is about a state of mind.If I'm not feeling it in my mind the rest of my body isn't going to follow. I say sex is about 85% mental and 15% physical for woman. We want to be connected to a person on a mental level first if they don't stimulate our minds there is only so much looks will get them.They can be the finest person in the world but if there dumb as a door nail they can keep it pushing. what would you rather have a cute person that you are attracted to physically? Or a spouse that is smart and keeps you interested? Some might not feel the same way as me and that's fine. But i will tell you this a person that gets into a woman's head and heart can keep her focus a lot longer than just a pretty face.